Foster Care to Adoption "The Greatest Adventure"
by dad-of-8 & all 8 of the kids PAGE 3 PAGE 1 PAGE 2
I remember quite well a lot of the foster kids I grew up with. I remember N---, J---, K---, and L--- very well. They were all close to my age. They were like brothers and sisters to me. I also remember D---, T---, and L--- very well. I have very fond memories of them and I miss them. There were also many other foster children but I don't remember them as well. After mom's stroke we stopped taking in foster kids. I wish we could do it again.
GIRL #3 - A good looking 23 year old young lady. Currently working as a medical assistant in a neighborhood doctor's office. She was in and out of several foster homes including ours before she finally came to stay and be adopted. She shares an apartment with friends within walking distance from us. An extremely independent young lady that is doing quite well. Her question:
When you were young, do you feel that you were unfairly shuffled from home to home as a foster child? If so, how has it affected your life?
GIRL #3's answer:
I do think I was thrown around too much. I never understood, when I was young, why I was put in one place and then another place. It makes a child feel like she never belongs anywhere.
If you are willing to become a foster parent, I feel you have to be 101% ready to open your life to someone who needs to be apart of a family.
BOY #4 - A 12 year old young man. A very popular and caring individual. I have been honored to have the chance to watch him grow and for the fact that he is a part of this family. He was placed with us as a 4 month old foster child, never left and was soon adopted. His question:
Do you tell friends and teachers the fact that you are adopted? What kind of reaction do you get?
BOY #4's answer:
I am not ashamed to tell anyone that I am adopted. If they ask me questions about it I just tell them the truth. Only one person made fun of me because I was adopted. It bothered me a little but I just ignored him. Most people I tell think it is a great thing. I only know one other kid that was adopted and she is proud of it too.
GIRL #4 - A beautiful 20 year old young lady. She currently attends a top college and is doing extremely well. Also works part time for a well known retail store. Has developed strong ties with her biological family as well as her adopted family. Her question then has to be:
In my mind you have been very fortunate to establish relationships with two families. At what age should an adopted child be allowed to discover their biological heritage? Should the adopted parents of an adopted child help that child find their biological parents if the child wants that? Can an adopted child love two families at the same time?
GIRL #4's answer:
I feel that an adopted child has the right to know and be informed of information regarding his/her biological parents. A child should NEVER be deprived of that right, no matter what the circumstances. I feel that the cases under which a child was adopted should be considered though. If a child was adopted when he/she was a baby, then I think it is the adoptive parent's judgment as to when that particular child is ready to be informed. But I do not think that information should EVER be kept from the child. However, if a child is adopted when he/she is old enough to know that they were taken away from their parents, as is the case with myself, then I think whenever the child is ready, he/she should be able to have contact with his/her biological parents. That right should never be taken away. If a child questions about his/her biological parents, I think that child has the right to know and that should not be taken away from the child. Many adoptive parents are probably afraid that the child will not be able to handle contact with both sets of parents and it may cause the child to be torn. From my own experience, I know that it is possible to love both sets of parents, as well as families. My biological family hurt me very much but I have tried to move past that and establish some sort of relationship with them. I also maintain a relationship with my adoptive family as well.
For many of you who desire to adopt a child, your first instinct might be to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on a foreign or domestic adoption. While there is nothing wrong with that, there is an alternative. For the cost of a phone call, contact your local "Department of Social Services" or other foster care agency (church, private, etc.) and see what the possibilities are. There are kids out there, many of them good kids, who need loving homes. Who knows, it just might be the start of your "the Greatest Adventure" as it has been for me.
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